the New Yorker
I Believe Marriage is a Sacred Union
Wedding Rings for Real Men - written with my real man with an actual wedding ring Felipe Torres Medina
MCSWEENEY'S
Ten Legitimate Reasons to Pull Out Your Dick on a Zoom Call - written with Casey Rand, Sasha Stewart, and Kate Villa
Hemingway Writes the Babysitters Club
A Guide to Midwestern Conversation - The 11th Most-Read Piece of 2018
A Guide to Midwestern Conversation: Super Bowl LIV Fan Edition
A Guide to Midwestern Conversation: Election Edition - written with Becky Blades (my mom!!)
Turkey or Sides: A Socratic Dialogue - written with Felipe Torres Medina
Sorry But I Don’t Think Attending Professor Xavier’s School For Gifted Youngsters Will Get Me Into Brown - written with Felipe Torres Medina
SELF MAGAZINE
My Boyfriend and I Are Splitting the Cost of My IUD
Greatist
The Actually Terrible Things That Happen at "Fat Camp"
REDUCTRESS
My writer's page on Reductress
5 Female Trailblazers Who Are Also Cute Goddamn Them
Women's Autobiographies That Make Unparalleled Success Seem More Relatable
5 Colored Power Suits that Say 'If I Were a Man I Would Have So Many Solar System Ties'
5 Rompers That Looked Like Dresses on the Rack
Is He Flirting With You Or Does He Really Not Know How to Make a Strawberry Banana Smoothie?
Check Out These 6 Unique Engagement Rings, Scott
Quiz: Does This Dress Really Look Fabulous On You or is Stacia Working On Commission
Personal Brand Guidelines If Your Name is Kendall and You're Good With People
I Got Rid Of Everything That Reminded Me of Matt Except These 14 Things
4 Hats That Say 'I Thought I Could Handle a Lob But I Was Wrong'
Show Him You're Not Like Other Girls By Being a College Lineman
4 Sneakers that Say 'I Wear Pigtails Whenever I Sports'
Statement Necklaces that Say 'This Is A Super Boring Shirt'
Fine, If You're Not Going To Share Our Facebook Memories, Then I Will
The Perfect Apology to Inspire His Apology
The Cutest Shoes to Leave by the Door of Francine's New Apartment
Is Teach for America Right for Me Or Should I Just Marry Trent
5 Hedge Funds to Bring Up On Your Next Date With Finance Josh
UCB's NIGHT LATE
Jill Kargman Tries to Sell a House In the Suburbs (I assoc. produced and contributed punch-up jokes to this piece that Evan Altshuler wrote!)
THE BELLADONNA COMEDY
Other Rules for Men on the Campaign Trail
A Quick Pep Talk Before Our Meeting with the CEO
2nd Grade Report Cards of Beloved Literary Characters
I Know It’s Crazy…But My Fiancé is Also My Best Friend
The Daily Itinerary of Me, 40 Pounds Lighter
Ruth Bader Ginsburg Plays Marry, Fuck, Kill
The Daily Itinerary of THE BIRTHDAY GIRL
We At The White House Would Like To Remind You That First Is The Worst And Second Is The Best
It's Me! The New Female Character in This Sci-Fi Show! Here to Ask Clarifying Questions!
Points in case
After Two Years of Emotional Misdirection I’m Ready to Propose to the Love of My Life
Who Do You Like More? The Country or Hispanics? Written with Felipe Torres Medina
The USA is the Greatest Country in the World But Those Soccer Girls Need to Be Nicer Written with Felipe Torres Medina
New High School Senior Portrait Packages
I’m A Horse and You Can Totally Put the Cart Before Me If You Want
THE PINK CANOE
How to Forgive Him For Cheating On You In Your Dream
BRANDED CONTENT
6 Things Your Couch Can Give You That The Love of Your Life Can't - for BURROW
5 Weird Things You Probably Didn't Know About St. Patrick's Day - for Redheads Anonymous
GROWN AND FLOWN
I Know Mom: Recent College Grad Reflects on the Fight to the Finish
Darling, You'll Be Great at College Because I Crushed Parenting
Dear Mom, From Your Off to College Daughter
Personal faves
I Have 20,000 Dollars In Student Loans From Harvard, So Sure I Can Help Your Kid Get In
To the Colombian Men in the World Cup Bar Who Treated Me Like One of Their Own